Category: Marriage

At times, saints of old were guilty of “running ahead of God,” that is, they presumed to know the will of God and put forth human efforts to help accomplish His will. The results were always bad. We can be guilty of doing the same thing – as individuals and collectively as the church.

And the brethren say, Amen! Not so fast, fellas, the ladies are listening. Perhaps to the fairer sex, the proverb will sound rather sexist and…

Everyone seems to agree there is a problem, but is convinced that it only affects those at a distance and is no imminent threat to them. Statistics suggest, however, that the problem might be sitting next to them on the pew, even standing before them at the communion table or pulpit, but is certainly closer than they want to believe. “In this changed social landscape, discussing pom is both risky and urgent–perhaps especially so in the churches” (Pellauer 1987, 651).

Today the Church is God’s holy and special people. It is also expected to follow God’s commandments and remain faithful until death, so that he will give you the crown of life (Rev. 2:10). And then the marriage relationship is like that of the relationship between Christ and the church.

We encourage all to remember (in discussing the varied scenarios, circumstances and what-ifs), the simple principle which lies at the heart of the matter. God established the home, and intends for a man and woman to honor the commitment they make. It is, One man, One woman, for a lifetime.

Concerning the Bible teaching on Divorce and Remarriage, the truth is clear: One man, one woman, for a lifetime. Jesus established only one exception to this rule, “fornication.” Anyone who does not teach and practice this doctrine must be rejected by those who love truth, and those who desire fellowship with the Lord (cf. 2 John 9-11).

It may be that an individual could not in good conscience remarry if he or she did not initiate the procedure, or gain the judgment. Another could in good conscience remarry regardless of what the divorce decree says, because he or she knows and God knows the spouse was put away with just cause. Let each respond according to the dictates of his or her own conscience in this matter. “So then each of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12). However, may it be that we do not allow such judgments, where God has not specified, to be matters over which we divide.

To define the “mental divorce” position, we refer to both formal propositions, and a common scenario.  First, the proposition, which some who advocate the position…

Adultery is sexual sin. To redefine it in an attempt to set aside Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19:9 is a sophistical effort. While plausible to those looking for comfort in their sin, the argument does not survive close examination. Remember God’s rule: one man, one woman, for a lifetime!

The idea that only Christians are amenable to the law of Christ is false. Christ has authority over all flesh, and his teaching on the sanctity of the marriage bond is applicable to “whosoever”, inclusive of those who are not Christians.

As the various positions regarding divorce and remarriage are examined, the plain truth of God’s word must always be kept before us. God established the bond between man and woman in marriage, and set the parameters of the relationship. One man, one woman, for a lifetime. It is God’s law. We must heed it.

God has determined the one exception to the rule of “one man, one woman, for a lifetime.” It is fornication. It is the sole exception, and God’s law must be respected.

May we not be guilty (as were the Israelites) of saying, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and He delights in them.” Rather than embracing the adulterer and his apologist, and excusing their sin, we should stand upon the righteousness of God’s law on marriage. One man, one woman, for a lifetime.

“‘For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,’ Says the LORD of hosts. ‘Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously'” (Malachi 2:16).

Popular culture, left unchecked, can have an insidious influence upon the local church. This has always been so. The Corinthians, jaded by a culture of immorality and ungodliness, allowed a sexually immoral person to remain undisciplined. They rightly were admonished by Paul. “Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump” (1 Corinthians 5:6). Paul instructed Titus to sharply rebuke the Christians on the isle of Crete, lest they be influenced to sin by their culture. “One of them, a prophet of their own, said, ‘Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.’ This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith” (Titus 1:12-13).

Popular culture had influenced the Israelite’s treatment of their wives in regard to divorce. In their conversation with Jesus they sought to justify their practice of indiscriminate divorce by saying, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” (Matthew 19:7). Jesus rightly distinguished between the concession of Moses, for the purpose of regulating what was an abuse of the women, and what God had intended from the beginning. “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 19:8-9).

What once was allowed by concession is no longer so under the covenant of Christ. “Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent, because He has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead” (Acts 17:30-31). God has always hated divorce, but under the new covenant of Christ, he no longer tolerates it.

It is interesting to note that the disciples were astonished at Jesus’ teaching. They said, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (Matthew 19:10). Their attitude in this is very similar to that you hear expressed by some Christians today. God’s laws are too harsh! Surely it cannot be! Homer Hailey, in expressing the genesis of his false teaching on the subject of divorce and remarriage indicated his belief that the purpose of the gospel was to include, rather than exclude. As such, he felt that God would not exclude the divorced and remarriage who would come to Him, though they remain in that relationship. Others agree.

It is not surprising that such attitudes would become more pervasive with the passage of time. We too live in a culture that tolerates ungodliness. The call to righteousness is thought by the worldly to be extreme, narrow and unseemly. The order of the day is to tolerate! Tolerate the homosexual, tolerate the pagan, tolerate the promiscuous. The only intolerable action is to be intolerant!

Such an attitude has influenced Christians in our time. It seems that the first issue where this has been seen is that of Divorce and Remarriage. For a number of years false teachers have advocated a broader fellowship of those in adulterous relationships. Many have called for the fellowship both of the sinner, and the errorist who gives him a rationale for his behavior. But, other false doctrines are also being tolerated. Some now are calling for a more understanding treatment of those in institutional or premillinial error, others claim our “hermeneutic” is too radical, and there is a call to equivocate on the literal nature of the Genesis record with regard to the amount of time it took for the work to be done.

Jesus clearly stated the principle of duration with regard to marriage. It can be simply stated as “One man, One Woman, for a Lifetime.” Further, Jesus clearly stated the one exception that would allow for a divorce with His blessing. “Except for sexual immorality.”

Any position that redefines, softens or diminishes this teaching is false. Individuals who take these false positions will always have adherents, for there will always be individuals who think God’s ways to be too harsh, and who desire to follow their own predilections. But, as Job, we must learn to humbly submit to His wisdom and will. “Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said: ‘Who is this who darkens counsel By words without knowledge? Now prepare yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer Me” (Job 38:1-3). We have no right to question God’s will, our place is to accept it.

Conclusion

Man believes that he may enter into the marriage contract for a season, and break it at his pleasure. While he may indeed have the legal right, God indicates that divorce is not acceptable. “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Jesus stated that those who divorce do so because of the “hardness of your hearts.” While the stigma of divorce has for the most part left our society, and the legal procedure is easily secured, God nevertheless still hates divorce. As his children, we must reject the world’s influence, and heed His will.

Husbands, love your wives… Wives, submit to your husbands. You must, for your God demands it!

While the husband/wife relationship is not exclusively defined by its sexual aspect, that is what makes it unique. Sex is a blessed privilege and obligation in that union, but is unacceptable in any other context. Men have largely rejected these facts, but the future welfare of our society is dependent upon our acceptance of this truth.

God hates divorce, and intends the contract between a man and woman in marriage to be a lifetime commitment. It is a directive we must obey!

If aliens are not amenable to Christ’s law regarding divorce and remarriage, aliens are not amenable to the Gospel instructions in general. For instance, if an alien is not amenable to the Gospel’s instructions, how can we oppose the use of instrumental music in denominational worship? Are they not aliens? How could the practice be judged sinful for aliens if the regulation of the gospel does not apply to them?

Transcription of Sermon by Harry Pickup, Sr., on the subject of Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage. Preached at Palatka, FL in 1958.

Transcription of sermon on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage. Preached by Harry Payne, Sr. at Palatka, FL (1958)