Have you heard this said? I have. From time to time you have probably heard this statement. When the person who says this realizes that you are a member of the Lord’s church they tell you this. Why is that? Is it an attempt at making some kind of connection of mutual attitude? Is it an attempt by them to let you know they “know where you are coming from”? If you “grew up” church of Christ what happened? What event took place that caused you to out-grow the Lord’s church? Where are they now? What are their religious beliefs and practices? Are there any at all?
Unfortunately, this is happening all of the time as people who were once a part of the Lord’s church, the church of Christ, leave for other pastures when they grew into adulthood. Somewhere along the path of their life they either are lured away from Christ by the doctrines of man or they simply fall away, lured by the world and its lusts.
While we wonder why this happens, it is nothing new. If we look back at the history of the Israelites we see this very thing happening time and again. In 1 Samuel 2:22-25 we read of Eli’s sons who transgressed against God and Israel. In 2 Kings 8:16-18 Jehoram, the son of Jehoshaphat, became king of Judah, but he did not walk in the way of his father, but instead walked in the way of the kings of Israel. Why did this happen? Did Eli fail in his training of Hophni and Phinehas? Was it because Jehoshaphat did not teach Jehoram correctly, properly, and thoroughly? In both cases was it because of external influences? The latter had a definite impact on Jehoram has he married the daughter of Ahab.
Ahab is well known to us as one of the most evil kings that ever reigned over Israel. He was aided on his path because of his chosen wife, Jezebel. In 1 Kings 16:29-33 we are introduced to Ahab. He is described in this passage as one who “did evil in the sight of the LORD, more than all who were before him”, “as though it had been a trivial thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took as wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal, king of the Sidonians; and he went and served Baal and worshiped him”, and “Ahab made a wooden image. Ahab did more to provoke the LORD God of Israel to anger than all the kings of Israel who were before him.” His son followed this same path and the result of the influence was the same.
While both of the examples “grew up” as Israelites, the chosen people of God, both left God for other pastures. Both had all the opportunities that we have, that all have, to be obedient to God’s commands, but made decisions to move away from God. When someone says that they grew up church of Christ but now they do not attend the church at all or belong to a denominational group they are revealing the result of several different factors that we have already seen in Hophni, Phinehas, and Jehoram.
The first reason that some leave the church is due to improper training. In Proverbs 22:6 we read, Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Too often when this verse is read it is misunderstood. Too many think that this is an absolute when it is not. A proverb is a good saying, a thoughtful consideration of basic truths that when applied properly give the adherent a strong base on which to stand; but they are not a guarantee simply because of the free will of man. The proverb gives us a hope and an assurance based on truth.
In Genesis 18:19 God says of Abraham, “For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.” God says that He knew Abraham that he might teach his children to know God. God has known us, we know God, today through His word. If we know God and then take on the responsibility of raising children should we not also take on the responsibility of teaching them of God?
In Deuteronomy 4:9 Moses commands the Israelites, Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren. Moses also commanded the Israelites, You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up (Deuteronomy 6:7).
Parents must give their all in teaching their children to love God and acquire their very own love for God. We read of this in Paul’s second letter to Timothy; I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also (2 Timothy 1:3-5). For me, this passage indicates that Timothy’s mother and grandmother had a love for God and the truth of the gospel of Christ and that they were able to teach Timothy to have this love also. Timothy had his own love for God because he was taught the truth by his mother and grandmother. We cannot give our children our faith they must develop their own faith and we help them by the things we teach them through our words and actions.
The second reason some leave the church in their adult years is because of the influences of the world. Hophni, Phinehas, and Jehoram were all influenced by earthly pleasures and the wickedness of companions.
The devil seeks to entice us with the pleasures that can be found in the world. In 2 Timothy 4:10 Paul wrote concerning Demas who was once a faithful worker, for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica. We are not told what exactly Demas loved but we know the results. When it comes to the love of this world John sums it up for us writing, Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world (1 John 2:15-16). Demas loved the world more than he loved God. When we read of Hophni and Phinehas they practiced things of this world demonstrating their true love.
Generally speaking, when it comes to being enticed by the world, someone else will be involved.
Paul gave a warning to the church at Corinth when we wrote; Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits (1 Corinthians 15:33). And in the second letter he continued; “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?… (2 Corinthians 6:14-16). Unfortunately we deceive ourselves all too often by thinking that we will be able to have this association without it harming us. We do not regard God’s word on this subject because we think we know better.
When it comes to relationships with the world, one of the easiest ways to look at it is to examine the marriage relationship. The following chart shows studies that were made in the 1970’s and 80’s. I realize that this information is a bit dated but it still gives us an indication of the results of companionship with the world.
Before looking at the chart I want to say that a Christian can marry a non-Christian if they so choose and both have a right to marry. There is no prohibition under Christ banning this type of marriage. Some take 2 Corinthians 6:14 as proof text for this prohibition but marriage is not in the context of the passage. Now, even though marriage is not the context of the passage I readily admit that the passage has an application to marriage. Can a Christian marry a non-Christian? Yes. Is it a good idea? No! It is a dangerous situation that one willingly puts themselves into and one that can be completely avoided.
B. Street Church, Miami OK
1957-77Christian to Non-Christian Christian to Christian
76 marriages 64 marriages
57 left faith – 75% 5 left faith – 7.8%
25 divorced – 32.9% 2 divorced – 3.1%
22 faithful – 28.9% 59 faithful – 92.2%Bridges Street Church, Wynne, AR
1962-198176 marriages 28 marriages
61 left faith – 80.2% 4 left faith – 14.3%
23 divorced – 30.2% 4 divorced – 14.3%
15 faithful – 19.7% 24 faithful – 85.7%(Statistics compiled by Earl Edwards, Freed-Hardeman University, percentages added by author)
I cannot speak to the mindset or reasons affecting any of the individuals. I cannot even speak to the faithfulness of any of the people involved to this day, but without question anyone can see the results at the time of the survey. The vast majority of Christians who married non-Christians left the church. While they may have “grown up” in the church they left the church under the influence of their non-Christian spouse. It should also be noted that just because you marry a Christian it doesn’t a guarantee anything. Also, the loss of any soul to the world is to be mourned. It doesn’t matter if one is married to a Christian or not, if they turn from God and turn to the world a great tragedy has occurred.
Now if we can see the affect of this relationship on the Christian should we not be just as careful when dating? Should we not be just as careful in business relationships? How careful should we be with any relationship with those who walk as the world? I know that we must live in the world and cannot ostracize ourselves from the world, 1 Corinthians 5:9-10, but we must walk soberly knowing the danger of too close association with those who care not for true obedience to God.
In the end how you grew up is important but nothing can be done about that now. What is important is what are you doing about faithfulness and obedience to God today? If you “grew up church of Christ” but are not faithful now what is keeping you from serving God? What can you do about that?
Maybe that can be another article.
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