In the sixth and seventh chapters of the Old Testament Proverbs, the ancient writer of wisdom lays down some timeless warnings for his son concerning the danger presented by “the evil woman” (6:24). Along the way, however, he alerts us all to the perils of sexual temptation and immorality through evil women and men.
The hedonism of this world has infected Christianity to the point that new excuses are being created every day to allow for the tolerance of sexual immorality. Standards of attire, behavior and repentance are being cast aside by the soothing self-delusion that nothing evil will result. In these proverbs, though, we find unalterable truth and a reality that must force us to ask wisdom to be our sister and understanding our near kin. No matter your age, marital status or gender, sexual immorality is an issue that must be soberly considered.
The evil woman of this long passage is one who is married to a traveling businessman; perhaps she is lonely, but certainly she is disloyal. The evil woman who tempts you is as likely to be only an image in print or on screen, or an unmarried girl, and there are just as many evil men and boys who will prey upon otherwise godly females by many of the same means.
They are all alike, however, in that they care more for your body than your spirit and your faith is expendable to them. They are worse than worthless to you; they are thieves and saboteurs. “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals’” (First Corinthians 15:33, ESV).
Today, you are in the habit of regular worship, spiritual self-examination, daily prayer, weekly communion and constant self-discipline. Strength like that is valuable, but it can be worn down over time if constantly subjected to the most severe temptations. Guilt results from initial indulgence and can be assuaged by genuine repentance or obliterated by further sin. Sometimes, sexual immorality makes us too embarrassed to approach God in prayer and so we begin to avoid him and then it seems as if everyone is aware of our secret transgression and worship assemblies become too uncomfortable. We conjure up headaches and hangnails so that we can stay home instead. Spiritual self-investigation no longer seems necessary since we are sure to find at least one glaring inadequacy; other flaws, therefore, go unnoticed, unchecked and unabated. This lack of self-discipline becomes a way of life and we drift further away from God.
If we are truly aware of the devil’s devices, Proverbs 6-7 will reveal to us just how she accomplishes her timeless moth-to-the-flame act.
“Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes” (Proverbs 6:25). Beauty is a gift from God and it is nothing to conceal, but should be celebrated. Even perfumes and cosmetics, in moderation and on mature girls or women, are splendidly approved enhancements, but physical blessings should not be used like the devil’s war paint to entice young men into a position where their self-control is overwhelmed. Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” The most beautiful woman is the one who does not flaunt her attributes, but presents herself in an orderly and godly way, that no young man should get the wrong idea (First Peter 3:1-6).
The immoral woman appeals to the weak by exploiting his natural desires and turning them into lust. “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned” (Proverbs 6:25)? The desire to be fruitful and multiply is hard-wired into human beings, so that sexual desire is natural and necessary when properly directed, but it is turned into lust when it descends into fantasy or fornication (Mark 7:20-23). The evil woman and the licentious man are tools of the adversary as they attempt to dirty up sex and draw a partner into perversity (James 1:12-16).
She appeals to the man’s pride with flattering, seductive words (Proverbs 7:5). It is amazing what people can be talked into doing; Grigory Rasputin and Adolf Hitler were two of the most vile human beings ever to live, but their speech was so psychologically seductive that people found themselves enticed and enslaved by it. With flowery words of romance, false promises and ridiculous flattery, both men and women can be deluded into thinking that evil is somehow good or that their case is different from anything that the Bible condemns. When fornication occurs, the mask comes off and something ugly stares you in the face – sin and its consequences and her guilt and meaningless words just make it worse.
If she can, she will win by exploiting her victim’s naiveté and exaggerated sense of personal willpower. “I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner” (Proverbs 7:7). It is a bitter irony that the stronger a man feels in this area, the weaker he probably is (see First Corinthians 10:12-13). Physically, young adulthood presents the greatest time of temptation, but that is exactly when one feels mature enough to handle every challenge without risk. He believes he can flit nearer and nearer to the flame without getting scorched and so he pushes every nerve to its limit and then shockingly fails. Joseph did not stop to find out how strong he was; he fled the sexual invitation of Potiphar’s wife just as Paul urged Timothy to do (Second Timothy 2:22).
Very often, the seductress will add to her appeal by waiting for “the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness” (Proverbs 7:9). There is something about nightfall that adds to the allure of sexual immorality; people not only find it more romantic but also more concealing of their indiscretions. There is a reason that people turn off the lights or seek out movie theaters for their fond embraces, so understand that darkness increases the likelihood that you will have to say, “Stop” when least able to make it stick.
Few tactics are more powerful than the simple “attire of a harlot” (see Proverbs 7:10). This evil woman is not a harlot, but she knows that dressing like one will get the attention of men. Females who dress in short skirts or shorts and tight or low-cut tops are advertising their availability and lack of inhibition, even if they only intend to tease a little. Even the strongest man is challenged not to behold her flesh in his eyes and so she becomes a stumbling block and the genesis of his spiritual demise (see Matthew 5:27-28). Christian girls and boys, men and women, must do better (see First Timothy 2:8-10).
She is more fearsome away from home with its authority, responsibilities and consequences. “She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home” (Proverbs 7:11). With maturity come more and more opportunities to go out on your own and leave your parents behind, at least for a while. Going off to college or getting one’s own place removes that anchor of authority that inhibits many from experimenting with sexual contact; the Christian is required to build on the foundation of his or her upbringing and remain as committed to chastity outside mom and dad’s house as in it. Even brief visits to a boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s otherwise unoccupied house, dorm or apartment can have a suggestive effect.
Making out often becomes the gateway to sexual temptation and immorality, especially when “She seizes him and kisses him” (Proverbs 7:13). It seems so quaint to learn that, years ago, many people did not even kiss for the first time until their wedding day. While such a thing is probably impractical and maybe even extreme, there must be a limit to how much kissing and physical contact is permitted before enflamed passions begin to overwhelm self-control. Boundaries need to be established and respected, because if you wait until it is too late to stop, it will be too late for anything but shame.
Shame is sometimes scarce when her face is bold and her objective obvious (see Proverbs 7:13). There is a certain shamelessness about sexual immorality that ought to alert anyone that a person is dangerous and spiritually apathetic. One who freely jokes about sex and broaches the subject with you may be floating a trial balloon to see how far you will go; you have already gone far enough!
The immoral woman might even appeal to you with her false sense of religious security (see Proverbs 7:14). Almost like the heathen of old, some have learned a nasty lesson about sin in a religious atmosphere where it is winked at and excused. Churches that turn a blind eye to drinking, serial divorce and remarriage and sensual dance have sent a message that sin is really not tangible or serious. Some even make it seem as if repentance is nothing more than admitting a sin so that you can feel absolved to commit it again whenever you like. You may come across a person who seems very religious and yet is not above sexual advances; it is because she believes she can sin as often as she wants, so long as she goes through some church-ordained motions afterward, which free her to repeat the process as often as she likes. Your faith and notion of repentance must be stronger (Second Corinthians 7:10-11).
We hear the phrase “sleeping together” as a euphemism for sex and the wise man or woman will accept that the bed is hopelessly attached to sex (see Proverbs 7:16-17). While lying together seems so pleasant and harmless, it is foolish to think that such extended close contact on furniture so linked to lovemaking will not stir the imagination. An unrelated boy and girl have no business on a bed together until after the preacher makes his pronouncement.
Naturally, she allures with the promise of sensual pleasure; “Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love” (see Proverbs 7:18). Sex is physically pleasant but it cannot be spiritually fulfilling outside of marriage (Hebrews 13:4). It is a pleasure that is soiled and abused by fornication, fantasy and lust. What accompanies that sensual pleasure outside of marriage is guilt, shame, disease, unwanted pregnancy, poverty, abandonment, abortion, even suicide. The passing pleasures of sin are not to be compared with the eternal weight of glory that belongs to the faithful.
Yet, she intensifies the temptation by scoffing at tomorrow. “For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home” (see Proverbs 7:20). Her husband would surely not be home until the appointed day; his parents won’t be home until a certain late hour and Jesus surely will not come for a few years yet (James 4:13-17).
What happened to the victim of her enticement?
“With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life” (Proverbs 7:21-23).
Her willing, deceived victim lost his life, perhaps to a jealous husband who came home early. You may lose yours to an angry father who comes home early or a vengeful God who sends his Son back “early” or to the fallout of a few moments of sensual pleasure.
Sexual abstinence until marriage builds a hedge around your moral purity, protecting your life and your spirit from an immoral tempter. Do not be deceived. Don’t try to see how close you can get or how much you can test your will. Flee fornication!
